Welcome to the Age of Love!

Our age is the age of love. We are here to experience a more perfect world by vibrating at the frequency of love, and to learn to create healthy relationships and joyful experiences. But we do not know that much about love. We think that love means staying quiet rather than speaking up, staying on the good side of everyone, or trying hard to be understood.

We are all trying to learn “love”, especially “unconditional love”. But when we say unconditional love, we mostly get confused. What we get from unconditional love is the absence of all conditions and allowing ourselves to be exposed. However, we subtract some vital variables from the equation: such as boundaries and standards. These concepts are often confused with expectations when “unconditional love” comes into play.

“Expectation” is an unhealthy concept.

We have no right to expect a specific person to behave in a specific way in a specific situation. Everyone is a free individual that grows by experiencing life from their own perception. The moment we place an expectation on someone, we are usually left with frustration and disappointment when those expectations are not met. Expectations are not fair for either party and a burden for everyone. But you must have standards for yourself, you must have boundaries.

What is the standard?

Standards are what you require for your own happiness in any relationship. It is the same for siblings, parents, friends, and lovers when it comes to relationships; because all relationships are actually established based on your relationship with yourself. For example, a few of my personal relationship standards are honesty, integrity, accountability, being interested in similar subjects, speaking from the same level of consciousness, looking at life with loving eyes, communicating with respect, listening to each other from the heart, valuing words, alignment of actions and words, respecting each others space, and so on.

So what about boundaries?

Boundaries mean your ability to say no to anything outside of what is acceptable for you. Let’s admit that not everything is acceptable for everyone. Everyone has their own acceptance zone according to what is acceptable for them or not. This does not mean that what is unacceptable for you may be judged and labeled as “bad”. There is no such thing as bad in this life.

There are only behaviors that everyone exhibits from their own level of consciousness, and a reaction and experience chain that occurs according to the energy frequency corresponding to these behaviors; so that we can see our own frequency and choose to raise it.

Try to understand without judgment, and still choose yourself…

For example, it is very easy to call a murderer bad and push him away. However, it is difficult to think about and understand the experiences he has gone through before committing such an act of violence. It’s even harder to evaluate it not only based on this lifetime, but also considering previous lives and agreements beyond that physical experience.

Nevertheless, the essential grace is to be able to choose nonviolence by leaving a murderer outside your acceptance zone without judging them as “bad”. In other words, you can understand and accept a person as they are, and you can still find that ‘behavior’ is out of your acceptance zone in your life. This is how boundaries work.

Unconditional love is to be able to love the created because of the creator!

For this, you should be able to understand and love yourself first. You must know what makes you happy first. You should be able to tell yourself what you want in your life and for what reasons. Then you should be able to share what you want, and what you don’t want in your relationships without fear of what reaction you will get. Because it does not matter what anyone thinks, what matters is that you accept your standards and boundaries unconditionally.

As within so without.

You cannot really love anyone unconditionally without giving yourself this right. You should love yourself unconditionally and show endless respect for your standards and boundaries before anyone else. If you don’t, what do you think your mirrors are gonna reflect back at you? If that unconditional acceptance doesn’t come from within, how will it flow outside?

No one has to meet your standards but those people do exist 🙂

Never forget, nobody has to comply with these limits and standards. If you assign your standards as expectations to others, you’re mistaken. But if someone does not meet your standards and act out of your boundaries, you should be able to choose yourself by saying “you are free to walk on your path as you wish, but sorry, this is not for me”. If you are in a love and growth based relationship, the person in front of you will listen to you, try to understand your own perspective as much as possible, and even if they cannot understand, will choose to approach you by respecting your boundaries.

If you are being judged or accused just because of claiming your own boundaries and sharing your own standards; it means you are trying to establish a relationship on the wrong grounds, and it is necessary to calmly cut the cords with those people without insisting. They’re not bad because they don’t meet your standards, they’re just not in the same frequency as you or in the frequency that can help you evolve.

Acceptance and grace…

You cannot judge anyone because everyone is vibrating at their own frequency. Choosing your own happiness by accepting what is happening, giving yourself and everyone the freedom to be themselves, and understanding their boundaries and standards; means to love yourself and others unconditionally. You can choose to love a person unconditionally, respect their existence and still not let them interfere with your life.

Take care of yourself, know your boundaries and standards. And don’t be affected by the people who accuse you of not knowing unconditional love just because you have standards. Know yourself. Get out of your comfort zone. To figure out your boundaries, question your acceptance zone. Have standards in all your relationships for your own peace and happiness. Mind your boundaries and feel free to say no for your own peace and happiness. Know how to walk away from the relationships that do not resonate with you without forcing people to change. And never forget that every soul that you deal with has all these same rights as well.

Aho!