The Wound of Victimhood
We are all wounded. And we blame someone else for our wounds. We believe that our wounds will heal by accusing each other. We all have varying doses of dysfunctions in our families that we are exposed to under the umbrella of love. We are broken. But what does Rumi say? “The wound is where light enters the body.” So as much as we brake, the more we can shine brighter. Our wounds are our guides.
Nature of Humanity
First, we need to understand and accept the nature of humanity: to grow, we need to break, die and be born again! Our resentments are so beautiful. They are necessary for our evolution. We are budding and blooming from the place we broke. The first wounds we receive in the family become our own challenges for a lifetime so that we can break free, find our own authentic self and grow a different generation.
But we all tend to get stuck in our wounds and hold our surroundings responsible. Because the other option requires taking responsibility. Because it is easier to stay in unpleasant circumstances by accusing someone else than to choose liberation. That’s why there is a wound that we are willing to carry: a wound of victimhood.
Self-Sacrifice should end!
As a result of the suppressed feminine, this wound that we transfer especially from woman to woman goes back at least nine generations ago. Since the woman made herself believe that she is powerless, she took on the role of the victim by giving of herself. As long as she can’t set herself free, she blames her surroundings and agrees to stay where she is by complaining. All of us without exception carry this deep wound of self-sacrifice, which we should heal immediately.
We all learn to point that finger at others and declare enemies. Because we can not understand the universe, it is difficult to accept that we are experiencing the effects of our frequency or the results of our own choices; and we continue to play the victim. What if I told you that we even choose our families before we come to this realm? We come to this life by choosing our challenges and evolution path so that we can break the cycles carried for generations, to bring light and bloom instead.
But breaking these cycles is not easy.
To break these cycles, it is necessary to be broken a thousand times and volunteer to break a thousand more times. It is necessary to dive into the stories that repeat in our lives, to look stubbornly into the eyes of our fears, and to cut off the wicked cords one by one. It is necessary to trust life and trust that this life and creation are wiser than us.
And I know it’s not easy. Because we grow up by learning that what happens in the family stays in the family. When we are left in dysfunctional situations, we learn to smile outside as if there is nothing going on. We are learning to establish a bond through small talk and chitchat, not through our wounds and vulnerability because of the fear of what others think about us. We call it love to cover it all, we really believe the dysfunction is love. Thus, we quietly and voluntarily continue to carry the wounds that we chose to break the cycles, then end up leaving them to our children, to our future…
Dysfunction is natural!
Let’s make peace first: dysfunction is in the nature of human beings and it is natural. It belongs to humans. There is nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of. One learns by making mistakes and begins to walk by falling a thousand times. So there is no such thing as a “mistake”. There are lessons to learn and experiences to pass. This life will bring us the experiences and people that need to be encountered until we get the lessons to be learned and become the best, independent version of ourselves. To escape from this or to be afraid of this is in vain. Because it’s all for us. Of course, it is not always pleasant and sweet, but in order to grow, the seed must be split. Do you think that the caterpillar does not go through pain when it turns into a butterfly?
Do not break your own wings!
Today, I invite you to heal this self-sacrifice wound that we have transferred from generation to generation. Ask yourself, do you expose yourself to situations that harm you more than they serve you by keeping people in your life because you do not trust yourself or life, because you have a family bond in between, because they are your childhood friends, because you fear their absence, or because you stay quiet so that there is not going to be a conflict? Although you complain and want to change; to which connections do you stubbornly keep the doors open? While you can open your own wings and fly, especially dear women, from whom do you see yourself weaker than, and why are you willing to get stuck in those tiny boxes by breaking your own wings?
This cycle will be broken only when we choose ourselves. It will be broken when we learn to accept and love ourselves with our wounds, not with the approvals we receive from others. No one is cruel or the victim. There are just dysfunctions that you can choose to stop. Don’t stay quiet. Because your voice is precious, exquisite and unique. When you are treasured in the eyes of the divine, don’t allow yourself to falter and take offense when people walk over you. You know how to fly as you know how to put yourself down, remember. And don’t swap your strength for anyone’s approval, appreciation, or love. It’s up to you to choose your own happiness!
It’s Time to Put on our Crowns Back!
I call out to all my sisters who choose to come to this life as women; we are the goddesses of change. It’s no one else but us who choose to disgrace ourselves instead of wearing our crowns. Now is the time to step into our throne, taking responsibility for our choices without holding anyone accountable. It’s time to break our own chains and become free. Don’t be afraid, as you choose yourself, life is ready to give you blessings. You are never alone and always protected. The moment you accept that you are worthy of the greatest beauty, the universe will be looking forward to wrapping you in miracles!
With love!
