Self Love!

When people don’t love themselves, it doesn’t matter how much they are loved by others; they can not feel loved. That’s why they need constant external validation and attention, or to be needed in order to feel lovable and loved.

And the lack of self-love initiates self-abandonment and people-pleasing.

To feel lovable and loved, one starts being overly attentive to others’ needs and commits themselves to please everyone around them at the expense of their own needs and wants.

One keeps playing nice to everyone, wears masks to cover their true thoughts, continually betrays their own truth, and acts according to what others want them to be; so they can get the attention and love they need.

Ironically, external attention and validation will never be enough for these folks to believe that they are lovable, and it eventually becomes an addictive pattern, they keep craving more and more from the external world.

This addiction type is called codependency.

Codependency is basically the addiction of people pleasing to get attention and love one can not provide for themselves. Codependency is when we prioritize others over ourselves to feel worthy, needed, and loved through their validation and appreciation.

And this is a very common dysfunction in our personal relationship dynamics. We often tend to betray our own needs, wants and truths to avoid conflict, not to lose the love we want to receive, or to paint a certain image that we think is more favorable for us.

However, a healthy relationship is built on self-love and self-care, not external validation.

A person who loves themselves unconditionally doesn’t give a fuck about what others think of them. They live their truth unapologetically and choose people who align with them.

Are you unapologetically living your truth?
Or are you playing a role that you know will be applauded?